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Wordplay & Limericks

Riddles – answers below
1
I slumber in circles
coiled like a snake
I unwind and slide across the garden
when I awake.
I’m a spray, a jet, a fountain
I drink from a distant lake
Fed by a distant mountain

2
Sometimes I’m a quiet kiss
Sometimes like a fierce fist.

I stir your curtains, tease your hair
Tumble giants through the air.

Tall trees roar with me and sway
And wide-winged birds come out to play.

3
A wondrous sight
Say I say I
Where rain takes flight
Towards the sky.

4
A whole lotta holes
A whole lotta knots
Toss me in, pull me out
See what you’ve got.

5
No body have I
No sound do I make.
I paralyze rivers
and lock up the lake.

6
I shed my skin
from tail to head.
I taught you sin
or so ‘tis said.

7
I open my arms
and point to the sky
and my thin skin
will keep you dry

8
Snip snap
on the left
Snip snap
on the right
Guy with the key
got you locked up tight

Puns

Absent — perfume for chest muscles

Abstain — dye for chest muscles
Abundance -a waltz for bakers
Acrostic —an angry muscular twitch

Adamant — the first insect
Algorithm —pulse of he who was almost president

Alphabet — a big gamble
Amenable — a more unpleasant male bovine

Anaconda — Fred Conda’s daughter
Antennae — Cleopatra’s lover
Apology — exclamation of surprise upon seeing a Greek God

Appealing — Removing the skin of fruit
Apricot -large primate experiencing hiccups

Archangel — Noah’s companion
Aromatic — Top floor of a house in the capital of Italy

Barbecue — a long wooden rod used for pool, billiards etc. by a famous doll

Begone — the creation of a space between A and C

Bell curve — shape of a lovely woman

Bellow — deep clanging sound
Bequest — search for honey
Billboard — any unoccupied person named William

Boomerang — negative reaction to a pie

Buccaneer — price for small body part
Buffalo —nudists’ greeting
Bulldoze — male cow sleeping
Bullet — small male cow
Cantelope — the inability to run away to get married

Cantilever — question asked about a man in an unhappy relationship with a woman

Carnation — large tribe of drivers
Castanet — technique for catching fish

Cauliflower — dog-rose
Cereal — the perception of things as they truly are

Chinchilla —appliance for cooling the jaw

Courage — Indian oatmeal
Croaking — ruler of black, medium-sized birds

Crocus — a black, medium-sized
bird swearing

Croquet -a lawn game for frogs
Crowbar — hangout for black, medium-sized birds

Crustacean — bread from the East
Curtail — rear appendage of a mongrel
Cuticle — making a line of people laugh
Dandelion — an elegant jungle animal
Depend — where the depth of the
water is at its greatest

Detergent — discouragement of a male person

Devastation — travel place for
male spiritual beings

Dialog — expiring as part of a tree
Eavesdropping — the first woman’s waste matter

Eyelids — ego-suppression appliances
Exit — cross it out
Felicity — a large urban area favored by cats

Fertile — coniferous floor piece
Gondola — the fall of the American currency

Granule — Christmas with a parent of one’s parents

Haiku — doves singing in treetops
Halo — greeting used upon meeting
a saint or angel

Handicap — convenient headwear
Handlebar — where a famous Baroque composer wrote music

Hangar — a public executioner
Hard liquor — a friendly, boney dog
Harlequin – one of five siblings of the same age riding an American motorcycle

Harmony — earnings of a clown or comedian

Heirloom — wind-weaver
High Heels — convalescing in the mountains

Himalayas- egg-producing cockerel
Horticulturalist — a snobbish person
Humbug — the sound of an insect singing, or flying, or both

Humdrum — echoes lingering within a percussion instrument

Hunky-dory — a muscular fish
Hydrangea — concealing a parks employee

Illegal — a sick raptor
Impale — alcoholic beverage brewed by small fairy-like beings

Implore — the traditions of small, fairy-like beings

Imply — untrue statement made by a small fairy-like being

Invoice — talking to oneself

Jubilee — male Israeli goat
Kidnap — child sleeping
Kidney — part of a child’s leg
Kindred — fear of family members
Kittiwake — alarm clock for cats
Laundry chute — firing weapons at damp clothing

Lightweight — before dawn
Logarithm — tempo of a lumberjack
Lost cause — the cries of a black, disoriented, medium-sized bird

Lugubrious —tending to sadness in rest-rooms

Lupine — a coniferous tree growing by public restrooms

Manual — male Christmas
Margin — alcoholic beverage favored by maternal people

Marigold — espousing a wealthy bridegroom or bride

Mastiff — a large crowd of people having a quarrel

Melancholic — digestive upset caused by eating fruit

Metaphor — having encountered the number between three and five

Microdot— affectionate name for
one’s black, medium-sized bird

Mischief — female head of a tribe
Monolog — solitary lumber
Navigators — garments worn by sailors to cover the ankles

Nevertheless — always wanting more
Nightmare — a female horse with nocturnal habits

Notwithstanding — the avoidance of upright persons

Number — the state of diminishing sensation

Odor — a poet
Oleander — Hispanic greeting for a man named Ander

Outskirts — Victorian bustle
Overture — one who excessively masticates food

Palindrome — place where a plane awaits Sarah

Palisade— royal drink
Partake — sadness of separation
Pettifogging — blurring caused by the emission of small amounts of vapor

Picnickers — choosing intimate apparel

Pineapple — a longing for Eden

Pole vault — electricity from Poland
Polyphonic — multi-tasking with cell-phones

Pomegranate — a type of English rock
Porpoise -an impoverished feline
Privateer — body part used for listening to secrets
Pundit — made a pun of a word
Purloin — an amorous cat
Purport — a harbor for contented cats
Ragamuffin — Indian breakfast bun
Rainfall— end of a monarchy
Ramble — two male animals on a walk
Razor blade— lifting a sword
Remorse— tapping out the same message again

Repast — what happened, happens again

Repulse — come back to life
Retail — the procedure for replacing the rear appendage of a creature

Revolt — restoration of electrical power
Rheumatics— spaces at the top of houses

Rhubarb —regretting a pointed remark

Rumi— spacious chamber for poetry
Ricochet — brother of Paddy O’Shea
Salamander— Moslem greeting for a person named Ander

Sandwich— a person with occult powers found in deserts and on beaches

Septic tank— infected war vehicle

Semi-colon — half an intestine
Sequins — the act of perceiving all, or some of, five siblings of the same age

Sibilant — an insect named Sybil
Single — a solo vocalist
Somersault — the smell of the air on warm beaches

Sometimes — mathematics classes
Spokesperson — bicycle representative
Stalwart— skin growth found on stabled horses

Stamen — a command requiring male humans to remain where they are

Stifle— no room for any more pigs
Teetotaler— score-keeper in a golf match

Understand— beneath rows of seats

Upbeat— optimistic vegetable
Upholster— gunman’s threatening gesture

Walnut— militarily obsessed
Wherefore – seeking the missing number between three and five

Wigwam—striking a blow with a detachable hairpiece

Windlass— a breezy young woman

 

Limericks

There once was a fellow named Crane

Who decided to eat a small train.

He began with the engine

But got indigestion

So he ate an old tractor in Spain.

 

There once was a lady from Java

Who had a great fondness for lava.

She mixed it with oats

And the milk of a goat

Said she’d rather drink lava than guava.

 

There was a mathematical snake

Always slept in the shape of an eight.

His wife preferred three

And she slept in a tree

Except when they wanted to mate.

 

There’s a father I know named Crenshaw

Who likes to pretend he’s a seesaw.

Took his kids to the sea

And someone told me

She saw a seesaw on the seashore.

 

There was an old lady from Bristol

Who fired at the moon with a pistol.

The bullet want past

And turned into glass

And it shines in the sky like a crystal.

Riddle solutions
1 – Garden hose
2 – Wind
3 – Fountain
4 – Net
5 – Frost or ice
6 – Serpent or snake
7 – Umbrella
8 – Handcuffs

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